I have been with my Beloved Guru, Heart-Master Da since May of 1972, one month after He officially opened the Ashram in Los Angeles. Since that time I have sat in Darshan with Him hundreds, if not thousands of times.
As was customary of His sitting with devotees in a large group, He would come in, sit with his legs crossed in a lotus or half lotus position and begin to meditate all of us. Most of the time Beloved did not move, except to sometimes gaze over the crowd of devotees, making occasional eye contact with people, and sometimes, during certain meditations with Him, His Body would often spontaneously animate certain hand mudras.
On one of these occasions at The Mountain of Attention Sanctuary in northern California, I happened to be sitting next to a brand new student beginner, there for her first Darshan event. She was an older lady, and I was thrilled to see her excitement at seeing Beloved for the first time.
When Beloved came in and sat down, the room got extremely quiet as it usually did during our time of sitting with Him. On this particular occasion He began animating hand mudras almost immediately. This was the first time I had seen this happen so quickly. As I sat there with my attention on Him, I noticed something about one of the hand mudras He did and thought to myself, that’s odd I don’t remember Him ever doing that. At which point, the new lady student next to me burst into tears, and was weeping uncontrollably.
I could see and feel she was completely touched by the event of her first Darshan and could not wait to talk to her after the occasion to see how she was doing. When Darshan was over, and Beloved had left the building, I went up to her and asked her what she had experienced, to which she promptly replied: “You probably won’t believe it if I tell you.” Laughing at her response I said, “With our Guru, anything is possible, try me.”
She then told me a story which really did blow my mind. She said that when she was a little girl, she would talk to God constantly, bargaining with Him to reveal Himself to her in life. She said that when she was in her twenties, she made a deal with God that if He lived in the world, He should reveal Himself to her by demonstrating a certain hand gesture that only she and God knew about. She had been a seeker for years and had many teachers, and she always looked for them to display the special hand gesture that would prove themselves to be the Incarnate One, but none of them had proven themselves to be genuine.
This was her first sitting with Beloved, and within the first few minutes of the Darshan, He had demonstrated to her the hand gesture she required for proof of the Incarnation of God, at which point her eyes filled with tears of gratitude once again. She then told me how grateful she was for her first Darshan occasion.
For me, over the years, I have looked to see if Beloved has ever done this one particular hand mudra again, and I have never seen Him repeat it in any Darshan I have personally had with Him.
This leela showed me even more that the story from the Hindu Tradition of Krishna and Radha is really true. In the paintings where the Rasa Leela or Round Dance is taking place, Krishna is shown in the center of a circle of female devotees, dancing with one woman, Radha, the chosen one. The other women who are encircling Krishna are blissfully, and jealously pining to be in the center with him, all wanting to be in Radha’s place.
I realized once again that we are all in the center Dancing with Beloved. He Dances with every one of His Devotees Personally and Intimately according to their particular needs. (In some versions there is also a form of Krishna dancing both with Radha in the center, and also with each of the ladies in the larger circle. Adi Da has described this as a way of rightly understanding the Guru-devotee relationship. That we all dance with Him individually, each one of us.)Just as with this new student on this Amazing Darshan Occasion. It just shows me again how our relationship with the Divine Heart-Master is Absolutely Personal and Perfect for each and every one of us now and forever.
Thank you my Beloved Heart-Master Da